Funny Quotes

I like talking to a brick wall - it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! ~ Lady Windermere's Fan by Oscar Wilde "How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?" ~ Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs Thoughtfulness begets wrinkles; remembering this, he soon put it up, smoothed his contracted brow, hummed a gay tune with greater gaiety of manner, and was his unruffled self again. ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens "Never faint, my darling. More domestic unhappiness has come of easy fainting, Doll, than from all the greater passions put together." ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens "I must go to the window and get some air. Shall I jump out? No; it disfigures one so, and the coroner's inquest lets so many people see it." ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins I have noticed that the Christianity of a certain class of respectable people begins when they open their prayer-books at eleven o'clock on Sunday morning, and ends when they shut them up again at one o'clock on Sunday afternoon. Nothing so astonishes and insults Christians of this sort as reminding them of their Christianity on a week-day. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins "She's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need." ~ The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Wodehouse The outhouse was so overmodestly masked with vines and lattice that it was not concealed at all. ~ Main Street by Sinclair Lewis