Funny Quotes

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. ~ Zuleika Dobson by Sir Max Beerbohm But the dullard's envy of brilliant men is always assuaged by the suspicion that they will come to a bad end. ~ Zuleika Dobson by Sir Max Beerbohm "If you lived in London, where the whole system is one of false good-fellowship, and you may know a man for twenty years without finding out that he hates you like poison, you would soon have your eyes opened. There we do unkind things in a kind way: we say bitter things in a sweet voice: we always give our friends chloroform when we tear them to pieces." ~ You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw "I have always said that the great advantage of a hotel is that it's a refuge from home life, sir." ~ You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw "Rather courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play." ~ The Old Bachelor by William Congreve "Beyond the obvious facts that he has at some time done manual labour, that he takes snuff, that he is a Freemason, that he has been in China, and that he has done a considerable amount of writing lately, I can deduce nothing else." ~ The Red-Headed League by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle And he continued to stare at her, afflicted by the thought that where Beauty was, nothing ever ran quite straight, which, no doubt, was why so many people looked on it as immoral. ~ The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy "I'm bad," he said, pouting--"been bad all the week; don't sleep at night. The doctor can't tell why. He's a clever fellow, or I shouldn't have him, but I get nothing out of him but bills." ~ The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy An unalterable and unquestioned law of the musical world required that the German text of French operas sung by Swedish artists should be translated into Italian for the clearer understanding of English-speaking audiences. ~ The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton "I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it." ~ Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens