Funny Quotes

"Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon." ~ Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw From politics, it was an easy step to silence. ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen "But your mind is warped by an innate principle of general integrity, and therefore not accessible to the cool reasonings of family partiality, or a desire of revenge." ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen Provided that nothing like useful knowledge could be gained from them, provided they were all story and no reflection, she had never any objection to books at all. ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen "Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid." ~ The Sign of The Four by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "If you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them." ~ Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen Impropriety is the soul of wit. ~ The Moon and Sixpence by W. Somerset Maugham Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain