Funny Quotes

Adam was but human--this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever. ~ Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens "Mine ain't a selfish affection, you know," said Mr. Toots, in the confidence engendered by his having been a witness of the Captain's tenderness. "It's the sort of thing with me, Captain Gills, that if I could be run over - or - or trampled upon - or - or thrown off a very high place -or anything of that sort - for Miss Dombey's sake, it would be the most delightful thing that could happen to me." ~ Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens "Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!" ~ Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens "If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is." ~ Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens "Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his MAKING friends--whether he may be equally capable of RETAINING them, is less certain." ~ Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." ~ Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. ~ Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen