Funny Quotes

"Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can see with my naked eye." ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle You quote an isolated sentence from my lecture, and appear to have some difficulty in understanding it. I should have thought that only a sub-human intelligence could have failed to grasp the point, but if it really needs amplification I shall consent to see you at the hour named. ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Shakespeare is the happy hunting ground of all minds that have lost their balance. ~ Ulysses by James Joyce "London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "It is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth. It is the first time in my life that I have ever been reduced to such a painful position, and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde When women are the advisers, the lords of creation don't take the advice till they have persuaded themselves that it is just what they intended to do. Then they act upon it, and, if it succeeds, they give the weaker vessel half the credit of it. If it fails, they generously give her the whole. ~ Little Women by Louisa May Alcott You see, he was going for the Holy Grail. The boys all took a flier at the Holy Grail now and then. It was a several years' cruise. They always put in the long absence snooping around, in the most conscientious way, though none of them had any idea where the Holy Grail really was, and I don't think any of them actually expected to find it, or would have known what to do with it if he had run across it. ~ A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain