Funny Quotes

I know that journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. ~ The Wisdom of Father Brown by G. K. Chesterton "Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings." ~ Love's Labour's Lost by William Shakespeare "He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument." ~ Love's Labour's Lost by William Shakespeare "If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits." ~ The Unbearable Bassington by Saki "You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed." ~ The Chronicles of Clovis by Saki "All decent people live beyond their incomes nowadays, and those who aren't respectable live beyond other peoples. A few gifted individuals manage to do both." ~ The Chronicles of Clovis by Saki "Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet." ~ The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James "When widows exclaim loudly against second marriages, I would always lay a wager that the man, if not the wedding-day, is absolutely fixed on." ~ Amelia by Henry Fielding "So you think it necessary, then," said the doctor, "that there should be one fool at least in every married couple." ~ Amelia by Henry Fielding When the effects of female jealousy do not appear openly in their proper colours of rage and fury, we may suspect that mischievous passion to be at work privately, and attempting to undermine, what it doth not attack above-ground. ~ Tom Jones by Henry Fielding