Humorous Quotes

"Holmes," said I as I stood one morning in our bow-window looking down the street, "here is a madman coming along. It seems rather sad that his relatives should allow him to come out alone." ~ The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie." ~ The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Aunt Polly asked him questions that were full of guile, and very deep—for she wanted to trap him into damaging revealments. Like many other simple-hearted souls, it was her pet vanity to believe she was endowed with a talent for dark and mysterious diplomacy, and she loved to contemplate her most transparent devices as marvels of low cunning. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Tom counted the pages of the sermon; after church he always knew how many pages there had been, but he seldom knew anything else about the discourse. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain It makes your sin no worse, as I conceive, to do it a la mode and stylishly. ~ The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope I like talking to a brick wall - it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! ~ Lady Windermere's Fan by Oscar Wilde "How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?" ~ Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs Thoughtfulness begets wrinkles; remembering this, he soon put it up, smoothed his contracted brow, hummed a gay tune with greater gaiety of manner, and was his unruffled self again. ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens "Never faint, my darling. More domestic unhappiness has come of easy fainting, Doll, than from all the greater passions put together." ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens