Humorous Quotes

He paid some attention to the management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing himself for this taint of industry on the ground that the one advantage of having coal was that it enabled a gentleman to afford the decency of burning wood on his own hearth. ~ The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde "Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot." ~ The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." ~ The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde He would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was--a woman. ~ The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving "Our young friend makes up for many obvious mental lacunae by some measure of primitive common sense," remarked Challenger. ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?" ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Professor snorted like an angry buffalo. "You really touch the limit," said he. "You enlarge my view of the possible. Cerebral paresis! Mental inertia! Wonderful!" ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can see with my naked eye." ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle You quote an isolated sentence from my lecture, and appear to have some difficulty in understanding it. I should have thought that only a sub-human intelligence could have failed to grasp the point, but if it really needs amplification I shall consent to see you at the hour named. ~ The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Shakespeare is the happy hunting ground of all minds that have lost their balance. ~ Ulysses by James Joyce