Humorous Quotes

Babbitt spoke well--and often--at these orgies of commercial righteousness about the "realtor's function as a seer of the future development of the community, and as a prophetic engineer clearing the pathway for inevitable changes"--which meant that a real-estate broker could make money by guessing which way the town would grow. This guessing he called Vision. ~ Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis "In other countries, art and literature are left to a lot of shabby bums living in attics and feeding on booze and spaghetti, but in America the successful writer or picture-painter is indistinguishable from any other decent business man." ~ Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome In these days a man is nobody unless his biography is kept so far posted up that it may be ready for the national breakfast-table on the morning after his demise. ~ Doctor Thorne by Anthony Trollope Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome That's Harris all over - so ready to take the burden of everything himself, and put it on the backs of other people. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome "I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out." ~ The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot