Humorous Quotes

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. ~ As You Like It by William Shakespeare "Ecod, you may say what you like of my father, then, and so I give you leave," said Jonas. "I think it's liquid aggravation that circulates through his veins, and not regular blood." ~ Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens One of these flaws was, that having been long taught by his father to over-reach everybody he had imperceptibly acquired a love of over-reaching that venerable monitor himself. The other, that from his early habits of considering everything as a question of property, he had gradually come to look, with impatience, on his parent as a certain amount of personal estate, which had no right whatever to be going at large, but ought to be secured in that particular description of iron safe which is commonly called a coffin, and banked in the grave. ~ Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens It is far safer to know too little than too much. People will condemn the one, though they will resent being called upon to exert themselves to follow the other. ~ The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage--but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends. ~ The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places. ~ The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler "I have to live for others and not for myself: that's middle class morality." ~ Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw "Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon." ~ Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw From politics, it was an easy step to silence. ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen "But your mind is warped by an innate principle of general integrity, and therefore not accessible to the cool reasonings of family partiality, or a desire of revenge." ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen