Humorous Quotes

Provided that nothing like useful knowledge could be gained from them, provided they were all story and no reflection, she had never any objection to books at all. ~ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen "Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid." ~ The Sign of The Four by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "If you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them." ~ Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen Impropriety is the soul of wit. ~ The Moon and Sixpence by W. Somerset Maugham Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain Adam was but human--this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it. ~ The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain